This testimony contains so many HALLELUJAH moments I cannot just pinpoint one. You have to read this to know what I mean.
Hello Sisters in Christ,
About 2 & 1/2 years ago, just before Christmas, God started convicting me to get back to reading the bible and really reflect on my life. I had already prayed the sinners prayer, read the bible twice and considered myself to be a born again Christian, but aside from a few superficial changes, I was still living as I always had. I didn't have anyone in my life to talk to about it (my husband just wasn't in the same place as me, and still thinks I'm a little weird for all the changes that I 've made) so I just read my bible, prayed, and watched YouTube videos. 😘 I stumbled across the Hebrew roots movement as well as others until I came across this passionate woman preaching the holiness lifestyle aimed at women and backed by scripture (Thank you Sister Tiffany for being a tool for God). 💕
During that first year I was able to give up alcohol, smoking, an adulterous mind and behavior, and I started on a journey of modesty, including getting rid of all my pants, shorts, makeup, jewelry, perfume, etc. I also started feeling really convicted about celebrating the holidays, but wasn't quite there yet.
A major change for me was changing my worldly way of being a wife. I started seeing how, had I been more obedient to my husband in the past, I would have been living a more holy life. Even though my husband wasn't living a holy lifestyle, God was leading him . I've always been pretty mild mannered and had a good attitude, but I definitely nagged and thought I knew better. Now I trust God to provide for me. I still will bring up if I want something or think something is wrong or important, but if he turns me down or asks me to wait or doesn't understand, I just give it to God. (Like wanting a larger vehicle to drive the kids in-- months after bringing up the subject he told me he wanted to buy a minivan so we could use it for family travel, etc. I didn't have to nag, God took care of it) So now I just trust Jesus and ignore the worldly feminist agenda, and I obey. It's not always easy. I still get frustrated at times and over react and have to stop myself and apologize, but our marriage is much healthier now. He sees me trying so hard to be a good wife and it makes him want to do the same.
And my marriage was in a terrible place just a year before after having our first child. I honestly thought I couldn't love him again, I was so hurt. There wasn't physical abuse or infidelity, but he broke my heart by how he handled our new found parenthood. It was a hard year of change. Moving half way across the country, his new job, me not working, and then a baby. It just put him over the edge and I was overwhelmed with pregnancy, labor, and the isolation of motherhood in a new place away from friends and family. It was a dark time, but I refused to let my son grow up without a father like me. So I just accepted that I would never be truly happy. Little did I know what God had in store for us.
After that first year of my journey of sanctification, we were close to Christmas and my husband wanted to celebrate now that we had a kid. I grew up loving Christmas. My mother made it so special. I felt sick when I realized the truth, that it in fact was not a "Christian" holiday. As it drew nearer I began to really feel convicted . So for the first time ever I fasted. The entire week before Christmas. I gave up coffee, sugar, pleasurable foods, and I only ate a little between 2 and 6pm. As a nursing mom I worried about a full fast. I prayed for forgiveness and read my bible as much as possible. Well... Nothing changed. My husband still doesn't understand how important it is to stop with the Pagan holidays and I continue to give him more info and pray. BUT..... Something did come from that time. Something more amazing than I could have ever imagined.
My mother had been living on dialysis after having both kidneys, riddled with painful cysts, removed 7 years prior. She had just had a meeting with the hospital about them deciding if she could be activated on the transplant list a few months back and we were just waiting to hear. About a week after my fast was completed she called to say that she was officially on the transplant list and those previous years on dialysis were counted, so she should be at the top of the list. They said within a year or so she could have a kidney. And she needed it bad. Her body was falling apart. This was amazing news. But God is so gracious, He didn't stop there. Less than a week later I got a call at 10 at night because the hospital couldn't get a hold of her and they might have a kidney. She was at the hospital the next morning for surgery. If you're on the fence, prayer and fasting works if you are in God's will.
So now I had to find a way to take care of my mom in Seattle, while my husband and 2yr old son remained home in Virginia. I was running on pure faith, because there was no way I could have done this on my own. I just knew my momma needed me. She lives alone and has busy and unreliable friends and family. But...
My father in law had just the right amount of frequent flyer miles to fly me there first class and later fly me home. My husband stayed home from work for a month to raise our son. My uncle helped with groceries and gas while I was there and my mom qualified for a special hospital program so we got free parking and meals. We were there two to three times a week. GOD PROVIDED FOR IT ALL. I just had to be faithful and work my tush off for my mom. And... The one time I got the prayer line to work on my phone was when I was having a really hard time being away from my son and Tiffany said God told her they were fine. That I was on assignment from God and it was all going to be ok. I burst into tears. Happy, sad tears. After a month she was doing so well that her doctors said I could go home a month early to be with my family as long as some friends could check in on her regularly for the next month. She recovered perfectly (though there have been issues since then, she is doing well).
You'd think the blessings would have ended there, but my husband and I had finally gotten to a better place and decided that we wanted our son to have a sibling. We had been trying for about 6 months before I left. My last week at my mother's house I noticed I wasn't feeling well. When I got home we confirmed I was pregnant. It was a whirl wind of blessings and hardship that year.
Now I have a three year old and six month old boys who are in love with each other. We're working on homeschool and learning about God and the bible. My husband and I have never been closer (Though he needs Jesus bad) and the hardest thing for me right now is needing to be baptized and to wear a head covering (my husband is not on board) and I am feeling convicted to fast again but struggling because I'm nursing and getting so little sleep. But God will get us there.
I'm so thankful for this wonderful community of Godly women. It's my only form of fellowship at the moment and I'm so grateful for you all, even though I really only feel like I know Tiffany. It feels like we ARE family and I love you all.
God bless you and Praise Jesus for his sacrifice. I surely did not deserve any of this. And my mother is not living a holy lifestyle. She is seduced by the liberal new age way and I have to be very delicate how I share with her because she is so put off by her misguided notion of Christianity. But God loves all of us sinners and is more loving than I could ever imagine. And after all the miracles He's provided, it's impossible for me to not have faith that He has something great planned for my family. I just keep bringing up God as much as I can.
I still have a long way to go, but I hope this encourages others to have faith in God's love and timing. God bless you all,
We all LOVE you too Melissa and God bless you too!!! Your testimony is so authentic and heartfelt. I am ecstatic you shared these things with us, it means a lot. Your testimony has encouraged me. After reading this we all should learn the power of prayer, fasting, obedience, and faith. While we are focused on one thing God is handling other things, and one day He will take care of everything! Thank You Jesus. Melissa, thank you so much for sharing this testimony with us, I remember when you called the prayer line. God is so good and I am so grateful for the changes He's made in your life. God bless you and your family dear sister.